A great counseling professor once taught me that all emotions serve a purpose. Anger brings our awareness to an injustice that has been committed. Fear brings our awareness to a potential danger to plan around. Sadness helps us honor what has been lost and create meaning in our lives. Excitement, some might argue, serves the purpose of motivating us during hard times. It gives us the resources we need to overcome daily life challenges and often finds us in moments of transition, when we’re moving into a new phase of life full of the unknown. Appreciation may be similar. I have found that appreciation allows one to approach life from a more positive perspective, which helps us think, feel, and act from a more positive and centered point of view. As we move into the holidays, many people are not feeling excitement and appreciation. In fact, holidays can be some of the hardest times of the year for those facing loneliness, financial hardships, seasonal depression, grief, and end-of-year deadlines. Which makes me wonder, is this the best time of year for celebration to serve its purpose? Throughout history and across cultures, humans have always had periods of celebration. When we look at ancient festivals and holidays, we find themes of celebrating powers bigger than ourselves, celebrating abundance and the resources that sustain us, and celebrating ancestors and community. Celebration not only helps create positive feelings with both short and long-term effects, it invites us to focus on and create things that motivate, sustain, and connect us. During this season of celebration, I invite you to reflect on what motivates, sustains, and connects you and incorporate them into your festive planning.
Motivation. What are the things that drive you? Excite you? Get you out of bed in the morning? Discovering our motivations invites us to purposefully incorporate them into our lives, giving us increased feelings of contentment and satisfaction. For example, perhaps one discovers that making money is a large motivation in their life and a source of great pride. This might motivate them to alter their yearly celebrations to focus more on frugality (to get increased satisfaction from saving money) or luxury (to celebrate and make use of what has already been earned).
Sustenance. Consider the things that most sustain you or in other words, fill your cup. Holiday seasons are often accompanied by time off from school or work, a great time to think about how to replenish what has been lost or abused during times of increasedhecticness and stress. Simply engaging in activities that fill your cup can be an act of celebration of the things that make life worth living. This may look like reading a book that’s been sitting on your nightstand for 5 months, playing a new video game that just came out, using the special bath salts that have been sitting in your cabinet, enjoying a slow morning with your favorite coffee and breakfast, or longer walks in the evenings with your dogs, just because.
Connection. Celebration is also an opportunity to create shared experiences with others. We know that shared experiences create long-lasting bonds between people, and in a time when many feel divided and at odds with one another, sharing celebratory experiences can restore feelings of community and belonging. Many people initially think of family when planning celebrations, but friends, neighbors, coworkers, school peers, and broader community members are also great candidates for a larger planned celebration or smaller more spontaneous celebrations.
I invite you to reflect on what these ideas mean to you, and what you want to get from this. season of the year or this season of life. How can you make the most of it? And what are your emotions during this time telling you that you need?
Sarah Fouts is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) with Orion Family Services. Sarah provides both outpatient and school-based mental health services in Dane and Green County, including school-based services in the Monroe School District. Sarah works primarily with children and adolescents individually and in groups to help them overcome anxiety, depression, anger, and other behavioral challenges, as well as improve their relationships and self-confidence. In her spare time Sarah enjoys gardening, reading, and learning languages.
